Embracing Change

It always brings me comfort when remembering Louise Hay’s teachings about how we each divinely choose our parents as they are our guides to help us grow and evolve in love and wisdom. This concept has grounded me many times throughout my journey, especially during the waves of pregnancy, giving birth and postpartum healing; these experiences in themselves left my mind, body and spirit changed forever each time. 

Knowing that our daughters chose me specifically to be their mother helps me feel supported by the divine and embrace change with grace especially when it seems as challenging as the one I am currently living now.

My healing process after Rosemary consisted of multiple daily flower baths and applying ointments to help nurture my yoni. I healed quite quickly and was thankful for all the “work” I put into myself in order to bounce back rather quickly. 

With Lavender, I didn’t expect healing to look so different. I assumed because of my “experience” I would be equally prepared to heal in the same ways I did with Rosemary. Boy was this the farthest thing from the truth.

The unexpected chronic back pain and thus my inability to hold my newborn baby for long durations of time took me by complete surprise, leaving me humbled, yet dead curious. 

Diastasis what? I replied to my midwife. What the hell is that? This was after I refused to leave her office as I knew something didn’t feel right. The separation between my two abdominal walls (what they call Diastisis Recti) had been stretched so badly from pregnancy that my organs had nothing to hold them in, leaving my back to overcompensate for the rest of me. 

Within a week of giving birth I had my team set in place to help support my journey to self healing: nutritionist, lactation consultant, reiki master, osteopath, chiropractor, yoga teacher, mother, physiotherapist etc. I knew this next part of my journey would have to be a true testament to everything I had learned in the past ten years around healing the mind, body and spirit. I also knew it would take time, dedication, patience and a whole lot of grace. 

After months of releasing… surrendering… reflecting… and wondering… I am significantly stronger and will continue to heal one day at a time, gaining more clarity and information around my dis-ease. 

I understand her more. 

I have more compassion for her.

I am grateful for where she is guiding me to go.

I am worthy of love.